Listening to life's wonders

Thursday, July 22, 2010

+Dont know why+

ive just started posting just recently after months bein MIA..i dont think anyone reads my blog anymore..which is awesome coz i wont feel self conscious..its the worst feeling to get when you blog(abit like accidently befriending your mom on facebook, and ure more weary when you update your status. When I blog, I'd hate it if you saw me and quote things off my blog and ask me why I feel or say things. I just do..just dont ask..

Truth: I hate my birthdays. I feel the crapiest on my birthday. I dont know why... Im happy on the eve of it ...up till the very second when the clock strikes 12..the only thing I'll feel like doing from 12:01..and for the next 24 hours...is cry.. I dont know why...So knowing this..about myself..I always get myself ready.. Not with a box 3ply royal gold facial supremes..(fact: I dont like crying) but a gift..the most random and sometimes expensive toy...this year..it was a batmobile.. from the 1989 movie...the awesomemesss!!!
Woke up, sahur...mandi then sholat subuh..then unwrapped my gift...stared at it..pretend im actually touching it...(fact:i stroke the box and a shadow casts on the batmobile itself..looks like im touching it but im not..) but I mentioned i unwrapped it..why cant I still touch it? you're crazy if you think im taking a limited edition Elite hotweels Batmobile from the 1989 movie out of its friggin box!.. i stared at it till i fell asleep. owh did i mention i had to fast on my birthday?? no..its not some religious thing..bayar hutang! and i gez one other gift i could give myself is beeing free from hutang puase...

Why do I go thru all this trouble? I dont know.. i figured only I can make ME feel the way I want to..I dunt need anyone else..or do i? I do like feeling I am somewhat important to some pple..and i gez on your birthday..tts what friends are for right? I pretend the dozen wishes on facebook actually helps..but it doesnt..grateful but no..does not help at all...wish it did tho..half a day gone..an unwrapped gift and i still felt like crying.. so i decided i should go visit the library..i thought...its soo boring there..the only thing i'll probably feel like doing is sleeep..not cry..I found my 'The School of Essential Ingredients". Read it.. left 3 more chapters.. Helen, Ian and the Epilogue. While reading it I dozed of a bit.. woke up..refreshed...(turns out it wasnt just the normal dozing off...it was a mini power nap) no more sleepy eyes after tt..dang! n my tears start welling up after tt.. had to stop.. sheesh! i was in a library for gods sake...plus i was fasting..not suppose to cry when u're fasting..not suppose to cry at all! Time didnt allow me to finish it.. need to buke puase! I decided against taking a bus coz i feel cheated whenever i take 291 now..the whole pay by distance things sucks when the bus ure taking is suppose to be a 'fidder' bus..(or whatevr u call those bus that only travels ard a neighbourhood then back to the interchange.. making continuous loops ard tampines only!) im sure THAT would definitely make me cry.. so i walked.. the air was cool.. it wasnt raining.. it wsant hot.. just nice..it felt nice.. i didnt feel like crying all the way till I reached home.. then the tears again.... (sounds like an emotionally unstable person here) i was looking through friges and freezers to see what i can eat.. and my eyes start welling up again! "Why?!" I screamed in my head. and it stopped. I waited..heated some food...waited and ate...did my prayers..watched Dexter and CSI..and as soon as the next day arrived, 12:01, I was fine again..

now im fine

i think

[[ Rohani Breaks The History ]]*|10:51 PM|

[[ Blogger details]]

Ro here.Who's there?

Born on 21st July 1989.My parents' only baby girl.

Currently Studying at the uber faBB, Temasek Design School(TDS)

Diploma in Visual Communication

A lil digging: I am a bundle of confusion and crazy all mixed together in a blender of uncertainty.
Expectations are ever

Contact:Neh~!

[[ Thankfull! ]]

Kia Rio hatchback

iMac

Canon 400D

imaginations

[[ LIkeyz ]]

Food:anything with chicken in it...

Drinks:Anything with fruits in it..

GoodPeople:Lots to mention

[[Row's W.O.W]]

Treat people as you like to be treated

sch is cool!!

[[ History ]]

[[ Hear'em Out ]]

[[ My Friends ]]

[[ Credits ]]